Liene’s Story

Liene’s story

When Liene, 49, from North Watford was told that treatment was no longer working and there was nothing more that could be done for her metastatic cancer, it came as a huge blow to her and her young family.

Having accessed Rennie Grove Peace services during her illness, she was familiar with the Peace Hospice building in Watford so when her GP referred her for care in the Inpatient Unit, she knew she would be in safe hands. Speaking from the Inpatient Unit, Liene explains the difference holistic hospice care has made to both her and her family.

Liene says:

“I have known since 2021 that my cancer is incurable. We have managed to keep it under control until just four weeks ago when my oncology team broke the news that treatment is no longer working. The cancer had spread much quicker than they anticipated and is now in many parts of my body.

“It was a shock. I still hoped for the best. So to hear there is nothing more they can do came as a shock to me. To know that I don’t have another year, or years, as I hoped. At that point I was told I had maybe days or weeks to live. It has now been four weeks.

“My husband was caring for me at home but it was not a good set up. My son is so young and he saw me poorly every day. I was so weak. My body was very weak. I couldn’t do anything – only lie in bed. But my son wanted to play, wanted to go out.

“I felt bad for my son and also my husband. My husband wanted to care for me but felt helpless. And he had our son to look after, too. So when my GP organised for me to be transferred to the Inpatient Unit at Peace Hospice, I knew it was the right thing for me.

“I didn’t have much time to think about it as everything happened so fast. But as soon as I got here I knew it was the right thing.

“I liked the premises. Everybody looked kind. I thought ‘this is a good place to be’. In my heart I felt that. As I looked out of the window of the room I could see a nice garden. Then gradually the Inpatient Unit staff came and introduced themselves and I knew they were kind people. The doctor came to see me. They were so thorough in asking questions about me, my symptoms and my preferences that I instantly felt this is the best place to be.

“Since I’ve been here I have really improved. I have gained some weight after losing so much during my treatment. I have also gained strength in my body. All the kindness and love that is spread around here has also given me a big mental boost.

“The medical care is excellent. I have a lot of pain and it is well managed. I am also in lots of discomfort in my digestive system and have trouble with breathing because of where the cancer is. The team here manages it really well. Every day there is a doctor who comes in and asks questions like ‘how was the night?’. They then adjust the medication or give you a new one so we can see what works best to keep things under control.

“The physiotherapist has also helped me a lot. He is so kind and helpful. He sees that I struggle with breathing and coughing so he comes and does tapping exercises on my lungs every day. It really helps.

“I also go to the exercise class on a Wednesday and that has helped me to build up my strength.

“As well as medical care, the whole team cares deeply about my emotional wellbeing. The nurses are very supportive and well trained not just to manage symptoms and discomfort but to support your mental health as well. They come in and say ‘if you need a chat I’m here for you’. That is such a reassurance. To know you are not alone. They have said to me: ‘if you need to cry just call me. I’ll sit next to you and we’ll cry’.

“Every person I’ve met here shows kindness. People do it with love, from the heart. Staff and volunteers also have time to care. They can sit and spend some time talking. That’s different from my experience in hospitals.”

Her stay in the Inpatient Unit hasn’t been Liene’s first experience of the services provided by Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care. The charity’s services are available to people living with a life-limiting illness right from the point of diagnosis and Liene has been accessing care during her treatment. She explains:

“I was under the care of the palliative care nurses in the nurse-led clinic. I came every few weeks to see them as an outpatient. I was experiencing quite a lot of pain and through my visits to the outpatient clinic they were able to help me manage that pain.

“I also started seeing a counsellor at Peace Hospice as an outpatient earlier this year. As an inpatient that has continued. I see the same counsellor, I just now see her on the Inpatient Unit. The emotions can be very strong in this situation. So when the counsellor comes – she doesn’t judge. She just listens. She is only objective. Just there to listen. So I can open up and let out strong emotions. I can cry and it’s OK. I have learned that it’s OK to not be OK. It’s completely OK not to be OK.”

Supporting Liene’s wishes

As part of providing holistic care to all patients, hospice staff work with patients to identify and support their wishes. During a recent ward round, a Rennie Grove Peace doctor had a conversation with Liene about anything she wished to do with her family to make memories. Liene said she would like to have a family day out with her husband and young son. The doctor then worked with the Rennie Grove Peace fundraising team to arrange a VIP visit to Whipsnade Zoo for Liene, her husband, Tomasz, and son, Noah. Within a matter of days the family was taking the trip. Liene remembers:

“My son, Noah, is only five years old. So he loves animals. He was so excited when he heard about the zoo trip!

“We haven’t done something just the three of us together for the whole day for a long time. So it was very special. It was so relaxing because Whipsnade is set in beautiful nature.

“The trip was so well organised. We had the opportunity to feed giraffes, elephants and lemurs. When Noah saw all these big animals he was so overwhelmed and so happy. He was able to feed the giraffes a big willow branch. He was almost tussling with the giraffe as it pulled on the huge branch. It was so funny!

“Noah loves elephants. They are his favourite animals. He was so excited to see them. There was one born recently and others as well. He was so excited. It was nice for me to see his excitement and to see how happy he was.

“Lemur feeding was also nice. You go inside the enclosure and they come so close to you. They are such pretty animals.

“It was a really lovely day out. I’m so grateful to the hospice for arranging that for us.”

Liene’s husband and son visit her every day, riding their bikes to Peace Hospice after their day at work and holiday club. Speaking about how the experience has been for the whole family, Liene says:

“When we were told there was nothing more that could be done, every professional told us we need to tell Noah the truth that I won’t get better. He used to say ‘Mummy when you’re better I will do this… I will buy you a car… I will buy you a new dress’ and things like that. So they told us to prepare him.

“Suki, the children’s and young people counsellor at Rennie Grove Peace, talked to us a few times about how to approach that conversation. That was very helpful for me. Because the biggest challenge in all of this is Noah. I feel peaceful inside me but the strongest emotion is sadness because I won’t witness so many milestones in his life. That is the hardest part.”

Planning for the future

In processing her situation and preparing for the future, Liene has found comfort in the art therapy offered by the Rennie Grove Peace team. She explains:

“I want to make birthday cards for Noah – for future birthdays. There is an art session every Wednesday and Friday that I try to attend. They have taught me different techniques that I can use to make the things I want to make for Noah. I find the art sessions very relaxing, very meditative.

“Noah and I are having art therapy together with the hospice’s trained specialist. We had our first session last week. It was a really nice couple of hours. We did some clay work like making hand prints. And Noah made some clay animals. It was really nice to do that together. Alex is a trained therapist so just working with her allowed me to see my son from a different perspective.

“He is such a chatterbox! He was talking to Alex about amazing things that I have never heard my son talk about.  Alex’s skill really brought out the best of Noah. It was very interesting to me as his mum. I think he almost forgot Mummy was there. It gave me an insight into how he behaves with other people. So it was really good in different ways.”

Reflecting on the way hospice care encompasses the whole family, Liene says:

“This place is amazing because it does so much good not just for patients but families as well. Families feel so reassured. My husband was panicking when I was at home. I was unwell and he wanted to help but felt helpless. He could call for help but it doesn’t come straight away and he felt guilty when he couldn’t do anything in the meantime.

“Since I’ve been here he is so much calmer. He can take better care of my son because he knows I’m in safe hands and looked after. We all feel very grateful.

“The Inpatient Unit at Peace Hospice is an amazing place. Everybody who comes into my room, comes with a smile. The people who work and volunteer here love what they do and they spread kindness. That kindness has mentally boosted me. I feel like mentally I have gained strength since being here. My body is giving me lots of trouble but spiritually and mentally I feel very strong at the moment. I just love life for life. Just being alive. Hearing the birdsong, looking out at the garden, seeing flowers. I can enjoy it all. So I guess that’s why I’m still here.”

Fundraising support

Shortly after beginning her stay in the Inpatient Unit, Liene says she began to think of ways to give back to the hospice, which is 86% funded by the community. She says:

“I set up a JustGiving page and my friend, who is a keen hiker, organised a 10-mile fundraising walk around Amersham. It all came together in a period of about 10 days.

“On the day around 25 people joined the walk. They walked five miles then Tomasz, Noah and I joined them for lunch on a beautiful cricket green. We then continued with them for around two miles. I walked when I could and was pushed in the wheelchair when I was too tired.

“Tomasz, Noah and I then spent some time in Little Missenden – visiting the church, playing at the playground – until it was time to meet the walkers at the end of their route. It was a beautiful day so we all headed to a pub garden in Old Amersham. It was a lovely few hours. It’s such a beautiful area and it was so good to have lots of friends and family together, doing something to give back to Rennie Grove Peace.

“So far the JustGiving page for the walk has raised almost £4,000.

“I am so pleased to have been able to give something back and I went to bed that night feeling happy that I had really lived life to the full that day. That’s what life is all about.”

Liene’s wish is to raise funds for Rennie Grove Peace to give something back while she is being cared for in our Inpatient Unit.  She has already generously set up a Just Giving page for the 10 mile walk in Amersham that her friends and family have recently completed, which has raised over £4,000 to date.

In talking to Liene this week, she was shocked to hear we only receive 14% statutory funding. Her aim is to raise £5,550, which equates to the 4 weeks of care she has received from Rennie Grove Peace. We call on anyone in the community to give what they can and help Liene achieve her wishes to fundraise, so that more patients can be looked after by us.