Mary and Eileen’s Story

“Eileen feels able to talk to me about how she feels about losing her eyesight.” – Mary, Compassionate Neighbour 

Mary says, “I had recently retired when I first started as a Compassionate Neighbour nine years ago.  I have a background in social work and counselling, and I felt it was a good fit for my skills.  The year before, I had undergone cancer treatment for lymphoma and lost my hair, so I had personal experience of how lonely and isolated you feel when you are very ill.  It made me want to give something back. 

“I have supported many people over the years, but I started visiting Eileen in August 2022.  She lived locally to me, so it was convenient for me to visit her, and we got on well.  At the time, her husband was in hospital and subsequently went into a residential home nearby.  A few months later, Eileen had a hip replacement and was worried about living alone in case she had a fall, so she went to live with her daughter, a 25-minute drive away.  Sadly, Eileen’s husband never returned home and died in February 2024. 

“Eileen is 92 and isn’t very mobile.  She has macular degeneration, so she finds it hard to see and she also suffers with dizzy spells which can be very disorientating for her.  She also has hearing loss and has hearing aids.  She uses a walker indoors and a wheelchair outside.  Since she moved a bit further away, I see her roughly once every fortnight. We message each other a lot, so we keep in regular contact. 

“Eileen goes into a residential care home when her daughter is away, so I also visit her there.  When she is there, we often walk in the garden so she gets some exercise.  Or we just sit and chat about all sorts of things, such as what’s going on in her life and with her family.  She adores her family and loves talking about what they are up to.  Her granddaughter recently got married in Italy and she loved sharing the photos with me.   

“For Eileen it’s beneficial because she looks forward to chatting with someone from outside her normal world.  She often says that she is refreshed by my visits.  Your world can become very small when you are ill and not very mobile.   

“I supported Eileen through her husband’s death in February.  Her family is very supportive, but they are busy working people so they appreciate the companionship I can offer.  Eileen feels able to talk to me about her health and how she feels about losing her eyesight, which can be harder to talk to family about.   

“I love going to visit people, I’ve been in the caring professions all my life and spent 40 years in social work, so it’s in my blood to support others.  I would recommend becoming a Compassionate Neighbour volunteer to anyone who can give that little bit of time, as it can make such a difference to someone’s life.” 

“My family is very supportive, but they are all very busy, so it’s nice to have a regular visit from Mary.” – Eileen

Eileen says, “I look forward to Mary’s weekly visits. We have lots in common.  She’s very good at gardening and grows all her own vegetables and I love learning about that as it’s something I’m interested in too.   

“We chat about our families and what we’ve been up to and the time goes really quickly. We sometimes talk about politics, most recently the re-election of Donald Trump, as we both share the same view on that!   

“My family is very supportive, but they are all very busy, so it’s nice to have a regular visit from Mary.   

“Mary has a different take on life, which is refreshing.  She’s very easy going and we got on well from the moment we met. 

“I used to fundraise for Rennie Grove Peace and have presented cheques to them in the past.  When I was asked if I wanted someone to come and visit me, I said yes straight away.   

“I get very dizzy all the time, and the doctors can’t work out why, so it’s harder to get out and about now.  Having Mary visit the house is really nice, we get on so well and it’s lovely having her company every week.”