Resources for adults

Make sure you have enough support for yourself

Make sure that the nursery, school or college is aware of what has happened, as they may be able to offer support.

Children 0–11 years

• Try to continue with regular activities as far as possible. This can help children feel secure
• Children often see death as reversible and temporary
• Talk to your child in simple, straightforward language
• Try to avoid using terms like ‘lost’ or ‘passed away’, which can be confusing.
• Answer questions honestly. It’s okay not to have all the answers
• Give lots of reassurance about how much they are loved and cared for
• Encourage children to talk about how they are feeling
• Use books and stories written with them in mind

Young people 12 years +

• They may need to grieve privately, and be reluctant to display their true feelings
• Young people sometimes take their lead from the way adults around them behave; joining in rather than sharing their own thoughts
• Some young people may act out their feelings or channel them into more risk-taking behaviour such as aggression or self-harming in private
• Others become more withdrawn, finding it hard to remember or talk about the person who died

Try to provide firm but flexible boundaries. If you are concerned, contact your GP or other professional agencies.

• Useful websites for bereaved children and young people

  • signpostcounselling.co.uk
  • chums.uk.com
  • griefencounter.org.uk
  • hopeagain.org.uk
  • winstonswish.org
  • childline.org.uk
  • childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk
  • themix.org.uk

Useful apps for grieving children and young people

• Smiles & Tears | Kids Helpline  Smiles & Tears has been developed to support children and young people aged 0 – 17yrs who have experienced the death of a significant person in their life.
• Chill Panda Younger children (3-8)- mental health support
  Chill Panda techniques used in the app draw on a broad spectrum of scientific studies and evidence. There are plenty of apps on the market that address the issue of anxiety in adults but very few are designed to help children under 8 learn to recognise and manage their feelings of anxiety.
• Cove (putting emotions to music instead of words); teens and adults/ Google Play or the App StoreNHS Approved App: Cove – Create music to help with emotions Create music to capture your mood and express how you feel with the Cove app.Instead of words, create music to reflect emotions like joy, sadness, calm and anger. You can store your music in a personal journal, or send them to someone and let the music do the talking. Cove is like a mood journal, except instead of using words to express how you feel, you use music. To create music you choose from six different moods – calm, struggling, longing, playful, clouded and gentle. Music can be extremely therapeutic both during and after a stay in intensive care. Cove is free to download from the App Store.
• Apart of Me Apart of Me has been featured by the BBC, The Guardian, Evening Standard, Huffington Post, and ITN.
  Apart of Me is a multi-award-winning therapeutic game. It was co-created by experts in child psychology and bereaved young people and translates bereavement counselling techniques into a magical 3D world.You will be transported to a beautiful, peaceful island where you will meet a variety of friendly creatures. You will be given a guide to support you along your journey. Your guide will help you to explore, accept, understand and articulate your experience of grief and the wide range of emotions connected to it.As you progress through the game, you will discover your own strengths and wisdom. The island is a safe place where you can begin to process your grief at a pace that suits you, remember the person you have lost, and hear from others who know what it is like to lose someone you love.