Helping children cope with grief during Christmas

Helping children cope with grief during Christmas

Coping with grief around Christmas can feel really overwhelming. Whether this is your first Christmas without your loved one – or one of many – the sights, sounds and smells of the festive period can bring up many memories and feelings of sadness especially as you see other families making plans together.   

Children feel grief as deeply as adults, so it is important to offer them support during this time. It can be helpful to remember each child grieves differently, even within the same family. There is no time frame to grief and reminding yourself that there is no right or wrong way to feel at Christmas is important. Being gentle with yourself and your family is key.  

Here are some gentle ways to support grieving children and young people during special holidays like Christmas:

• Let them know their feelings are ok, and don’t be afraid to show them your feelings.  

• Don’t put pressure on yourself or on your children to be happy all the time but allow children and young people to feel the excitement of Christmas if that’s where they’re at.   

• Talk openly about your grief as a family and say your loved one’s name.  Make space for emotions and don’t be afraid of tears. Tears are a natural reaction to grief; they’re a natural part of healing.  

Below are some activities you might like to try as a family during this time.

• Create a family memory box filled with photos and special Christmas memories. If your loved one enjoyed a particular snack or chocolate at Christmas, include a wrapper in the box as well as any other bits that remind you of your loved one and your young person’s bond with them. Decorate the box and be as creative as your child wants to be – maybe in Christmas wrapping with special decorations such as ribbons and bows.  

• Write an unsent Christmas card to your loved one and display it near the Christmas tree. 

• Create a poster about the person, with photos and memories of what they liked about Christmas, such as a favourite food, Christmas song or game. 

• Pick out a new Christmas decoration in honour of your loved one. 

• Plan a special meal with your loved one’s favourite foods on the menu. 

• Print family photos and hang them up on the Christmas tree. 

• Spend time together – colour Christmas pictures or listen to festive songs together, maybe even work out fun dance moves to the songs. 

Spending time with your young person can be comforting to you both and help keep the memory of your loved one close at Christmas.