How grief kickstarted my career
As the 10th anniversary of her mother’s death approaches, Caroline (KnickersModelsOwn) shares the impact that it had on the start of her career in sustainable fashion, and writes about the care her mother received from Rennie Grove Peace.
The month of September with its subtle seasonal change, is an ever reminder that the 24th of October is looming, this year will be the 10th anniversary of the death of my mother, Mary.
In 2014, as her illness with cancer came to an end, I saw first-hand the professionalism of Rennie Grove Peace Hospice palliative nursing teams and their dedication to make end-of-life care comfortable and dignified. How they cared for my darling mummy would go on to have a profound and lasting effect on me.
Fashion and grief aren’t necessarily natural bedfellows, but without the death of my mum, there would be no Knickers Model’s Own; no book; no sustainable panel talks; no charity retail consulting; no styling and posting my looks across social to my lovely, kind community; no sharing my thoughts and opinions on how I feel being in my mid-fifties styling up whatever I damn well want to wear (preach!); no interviews; no awards; no staring down the lens of a photographer’s camera; no standing up to present multiple talks; no podcast series; no charity collaboration campaigns; no feeling of belonging to the coolest-of-cool circularity style pack and certainly no confidence-boosting “I can do this” attitude. My mum’s death changed everything.
“Live your life and be happy” were her words to me during our final days together. Of course I didn’t know then how I could possibly find a smile in the depths of my sadness, but I knew my mum wanted me to seek out that chink of light and so it was on the first day of January 2015 I shared my very first Knickers Model’s Own post (pants my own, obvs), standing awkwardly in front of my iPhone 6, unsure of where to look and what face to pull. A week or so later I would find myself on the BBC homepage under the 10-most-read features, catapulted well and truly into my 2015 year-long fundraising campaign for Cancer Research UK.
I would go on to style and post myself wearing a different daily outfit, head-to-toe in wonderful second-hand finds. Uplifting colours, patterns and detailing reconnecting me with my creativity, something in recent years I’d disconnected from, second-hand was soothing my sadness and had become the armoury for my soul.
A decade on, the conversation around circularity has completely normalised and wearing other peoples’ clothes or styling your home with re-purposed pieces is seen as the first option for so many, whether on a tight budget, motivated by the climate emergency or wanting to explore and define whatever style takes your fancy. Hard to believe that 10 years ago Depop, Vinted et al weren’t even born, but for me it’s a simple choice, whenever I can I prefer to: shop local, shop instore and support my local charities.
I’ll leave you with this: £37 is what it costs Rennie Grove Peace Hospice to fund a specialist palliative nurse for 1 hour. Where we choose to spend our money matters.
Whatever your reason for shopping sustainably, it makes a big impact on both the environment and the diversity of your wardrobe. Shop with us this Sustainable September!
