After Fraser was diagnosed with a rare and advanced cancer, life changed suddenly and unexpectedly for him and his family. In this story, his wife, Catrina, reflects on the journey they faced together and the comfort, dignity and support Fraser received during his final weeks at our Watford Inpatient Unit. She shares how hospice care enabled their family to stop being carers and simply be together, making precious memories with loved ones, friends and even Fraser’s beloved dog, Hugo. Catrina also reflects on the lasting impact of the compassionate care they received, and the support that continued for her family after Fraser’s death.
A life full of family, friendship and adventure
Catrina says, “Fraser lived a very full life and was always very enthusiastic about everything he did, be that in his work or leisure. He had a wide variety of interests, including golf, cycling and baking bread and would always have a project on the go. He loved to travel and was lucky enough to take advantage of worldwide trips with his work, as well as organising incredible family holidays where we made a lot of special memories. Family and friends were central to his life, and he was an amazing, fun and loving husband and father and a loyal friend to many. He also had a great bond with our family dog, Hugo.”
When life changed unexpectedly
“Fraser was diagnosed with adrenal cancer in April 2023 after he was admitted to hospital with acute abdominal pain. It was such a shock to us all, as prior to this he had been healthy and living a full life. We were told by the hospital doctors that his tumour was too large to be removed via surgery and it was too advanced for chemotherapy to have any lasting effect.”
Deciding on hospice care
“Fraser was referred straight to palliative care and came home in early May, where we cared for him with help from the palliative care nurse and District Nurses. We discussed Fraser’s care as a family and we decided that we would like him to be cared for in his final weeks at the Inpatient Unit in Watford. We wanted peace of mind that he would have everything he needed immediately and felt being in a hospice would provide this.”
Finding comfort at the Inpatient Unit
“The palliative care nurse said she would know the right time for Fraser to go to the Inpatient Unit. That time came when Fraser’s feelings of nausea were unable to be brought under control at home and the nurse decided it was the right time for him to move into the hospice. This was incredibly hard to hear as we knew he wouldn’t be coming home again.”
“I had done the online tour of the Inpatient Unit on the Rennie Grove Peace website, which helped, but it still felt like a step into the unknown and we were very anxious going in. However, as soon as we arrived at the Inpatient Unit, I felt like a massive weight had been lifted from me. It felt so right, and we knew this was the place for him to be. It enabled us to be there for him as his family and not his carers. It meant a lot to Fraser that we didn’t have to do his personal care. He was the sort of person who didn’t like to bother anyone or be a burden. Being at the Inpatient Unit allowed me to just be with Fraser – I read to him, and we listened to music together and just chatted.”
“It enabled us to be there for him as his family and not his carers.
Making the hospice feel like home
“It’s not like a hospital at all, the room felt more like a hotel room and was comfortable and homely. We were able to bring in our things from home and made sure Fraser’s room was filled with photos, plants and a room diffuser that filled his room with the scent of relaxing oils. The best items we took in were our garden lounge chairs. We were there with Fraser so much that having a really comfy chair was important. Fraser’s birthday was a week after he moved to the Inpatient Unit, so his room was full of cards and balloons and the hospice staff did everything they could to make the day feel special.”
Precious moments with Hugo
“Fraser was missing our dog Hugo so much, so we brought him to the hospice quite a few times. My son’s puppy also spent most of his puppyhood with Fraser at the hospice, which the other patients loved. Since Fraser died, Hugo has become a registered therapy dog and I take him to hospitals and schools. This was something Fraser wanted, and I’m so pleased I could do it for him. Hugo is a very calm dog and people are very drawn to him. At hospitals, Hugo and I tend to walk around waiting rooms, and it can make people who are waiting for treatment or results feel less anxious.”
Support for Fraser and his family
“Fraser ended up being in the Inpatient Unit for seven weeks. I know he felt more relaxed there, and his pain and sickness were well managed. There was also support for us as a family. A social worker came to see me once a week for a chat – she gave the most amazing hugs. A couple of times a week, a masseuse would come and do massages for Fraser to relax him. One day Fraser asked if I could have one, and I had a wonderful head and neck massage.”
“We also built incredible bonds with other patients and their families in the hospice as we were able to connect over the shared experience. It was comforting to sit in the lounge area and talk to other people. It felt like I was living in a different world to everyone outside. It really is like a bubble and the people there are in it with you which made me feel safe and secure. I still keep in touch with the wife of one of the other patients.”
“It really is like a bubble and the people there are in it with you, which made me feel safe and secure.”
“All the staff were amazing. They were compassionate and kind without exception. They would do anything for you, and you just knew that they were there because they wanted to make Fraser’s life as comfortable as possible and make it as easy as possible for us as his family. I am not someone that takes help easily, but I was so very grateful for their care and I know how grateful Fraser was for all the kindness he was shown during this time.”
“During Fraser’s last five weeks, I stayed overnight in his room on a fold-out bed provided by the hospice. As a family, we took it in shifts so either myself, my son or my daughter were there with Fraser the whole time. My children felt happier that their dad was being cared for at the hospice as they knew it was best for him and easier for me.”
Support that continues beyond hospice care
“The support from the hospice doesn’t stop when your loved one passes away. Since Fraser died, my daughter and I have received bereavement counselling with Rennie Grove Peace, which has been very helpful and we know that the Peace Hospice is there for us whenever we need support.”
“The support from the hospice doesn’t stop when your loved one passes away.”
Continuing Fraser’s legacy
“Fraser loved taking on a challenge so in his memory, and to ensure that other families can receive the incredible support that we did, we have taken on several challenges since he died last September to raise funds for Rennie Grove Peace. In April this year, my son and daughter ran the London Marathon, and my son also completed a triathlon with some friends in July. Cornwall has always been a special place for our family so in October myself, my son and my daughter completed a 26-mile walk from St Ives to Lands’ End, we felt Fraser pushing us along during the many tough moments we faced during the 12-hour walk. We will continue to raise money for Rennie Grove Peace, as they made Fraser’s last weeks the best they could have been.”