Sadia’s Story

Providing a peaceful and private environment

As Sadia’s mum reached the end of her life, it was important for the family to have a private space – where children could visit, family was welcome any time and they felt able to play an audio version of their holy book to provide emotional and spiritual comfort to the whole family. This, they say, is what they found at Peace Hospice. Sadia tells the story:  

“Mum was in hospital when we were told she was reaching the end of her life. This was obviously very distressing news to receive and for me, the hospital wasn’t the right environment to be having this experience.  

“I just remember it was very hot in there. It was unbearable. The staff would open a window or put a fan on but it just didn’t work.  

“I have six children and there’s no way I could have taken them to visit Mum there. It would have been against the rules and I can understand why – that wouldn’t have been appropriate for the other people on the ward. But it was very difficult for me. It meant I had to leave my children with relatives in order to stay with Mum. And of course meant that my children couldn’t spend precious time with their Nanny when we knew she was reaching the end of her life.  

“Mum grew up in Pakistan and was a devout Muslim. At this stage of her life it was very important to us as a family to be able to pray with her. We also wanted to be able to play the Quran out loud so that Mum could hear it. Again, this wouldn’t have been possible on a hospital ward when we were divided from the next patient by a thin curtain. We understood that was the case, but it was distressing to not feel able to do what we wanted to do, to provide spiritual comfort to Mum at this very important time.  

“Mum was in a ward with people who had a variety of illnesses. There was a lot of commotion all day and night and it could be very loud. As I knew Mum didn’t have long left, I would stay through the night with her. I was just sitting in an upright chair and with the heat and the noise, neither of us were getting much sleep.  

A home away from home

“I did ask whether Mum could be moved to a side room but unfortunately none were available. Then I remembered Peace Hospice. I had come into contact with Rennie Grove Peace through my work and knew of the Inpatient Unit at Peace Hospice.  

“We got in touch and thankfully a room was available.  

“As soon as we arrived at Peace Hospice, everything changed. The minute I walked in there was just a feeling that I can’t quite describe. The first thing I noticed was the kindness of the staff. Everybody welcomed us with a smile. They made Mum comfortable. And they also offered me a cup of tea. I could immediately tell that it wasn’t just about Mum, it was about all of us as a family. We felt so welcomed. 

“At Peace Hospice Mum had a lovely room that was just for her. This made such a difference to us. Having that private space meant we felt comfortable to play the Quran without worrying about disturbing anybody else. This was so important to us as a family and having the privacy to offer Mum this spiritual support made a huge difference.  

“It was also great to have the quiet room just around the corner where I, or Mum’s visitors, could pray if we wanted to. It was a nice, calm, clean space for praying and there was a Quran in there. The main benefit is that nothing is far away in the Inpatient Unit, so I knew I was still right near Mum if I needed to dash back to her for any reason. In a hospital the prayer room might be in another building or a long way away and I wouldn’t have wanted to leave Mum long enough to use it.  

“The space also meant that my children could visit. We knew that visitors were welcome at any time, including children. In fact the staff and volunteers were so friendly and welcoming of the children – it never felt like a problem to have them visit. My older children still remember that time and comment on how lovely it was at Peace Hospice. 

“The staff were so lovely. They just had a lovely way of speaking to you. They left us to it and gave us privacy. If they needed to come in and do something for Mum they wouldn’t just barge in and do it, they would knock and ask ‘is it OK if we come in?’. This made such a difference – they gave the whole family dignity and respect.  

“That first night a member of staff asked if I would be staying with Mum tonight. I said I would and the next moment they brought a foldable bed! I couldn’t believe it. I could actually be right beside Mum but also get some sleep. I was so grateful for that. I had no expectation of anything like that so I was shocked and so grateful to have that chance.” 

Tackling misconceptions around hospice care

When asked whether her family had any reservations about accessing hospice care, Sadia added:  

“People of Mum’s generation and background are often reluctant to access hospice care and I think that’s linked to outdated stigma around cancer – and the belief that everybody in a hospice has cancer.  

“However, I don’t think Mum would have had any reservations about being cared for at Peace Hospice. We had been in and out of hospital so much, it was like a second home. But not somewhere she wanted to be. The peace and tranquillity, kindness and dignity that she received at Peace Hospice was more than either of us could have wished for.

“I believe that not many people from different cultures and backgrounds are aware of the support that Rennie Grove Peace provides and more awareness of this would be great.” 

“While Mum was being cared for at Peace Hospice I met another lady who was similar age and had a similar background to me. She was also there with her Mum. I didn’t necessarily expect to see another family from the same culture as us so it was comforting to talk to them. She and I could sit in the communal areas and chat. It was nice to have that solidarity and familiarity.” 

Compassionate end-of-life care

Sadia’s Mum, Mrs Begum, sadly died on 14 October 2019. Sadia shares how staff at Peace Hospice supported the family to adhere to the religious and cultural practices that were important to them. She says:  

“The staff washed Mum with the same compassion and dignity they had shown her throughout her stay. We were then able to stay with her until she was collected by the funeral home. We were never rushed. And it was so important to us to have that time to say our goodbyes.  

“Mum was then transferred to the mosque where we were able to perform Ghusl Mayyit – the washing and shrouding that is performed before burial.

“Before Mum was admitted to Peace Hospice we knew she was at the end of her life and she had lived with poor health for a number of years. What was important for us at that stage was spending time together, compassionate and dignified care and having the space to practice our religion to bring comfort to us all. Rennie Grove Peace gave us all of this through the care provided at Peace Hospice and I’ll always be grateful for the end of life experience they gave Mum.”