When Trina’s mum, Anne, discovered that her lung cancer had spread to her spine and brain, she was keen to have care that would help her keep her dignity throughout the final months of her life.
Trina says: “In 2021 Mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, which had progressed to her spine. It was a real shock as she had been seen multiple times by doctors and had been misdiagnosed with pneumonia.
“Mum was lucky enough to have a new chemo drug to start with, rather than intravenous chemotherapy. This helped her for a while, but then the cancer spread to other parts of her body, including her brain, and in September Mum was told that her brain cancer had spread everywhere and she only had a few months left.
“Mum didn’t really want to go into a Hospice and Dad was also concerned regarding Hospice care due to the association with final stages. He was also concerned about the standard of care Mum would receive if she wasn’t at home, particularly after some negative experiences in hospital. Dad had been side-by-side with Mum all the way, and always made sure Mum was protected and cared for and a team of carers was ‘the unknown’. We were so unsure what home care would look like and tried to manage Mum’s care ourselves.
“I moved in to help care for Mum hoping my own care work experience would help, and we managed for a number of weeks, but as Mum progressed it was clear that we still needed more support. I contacted Rennie Grove Peace on the phone and explained that we needed help, but that we were still quite reluctant due to not knowing if it was the right decision. We explained how important it was to us that Mum’s last few months were homely, warm, and familiar. The nurses came over and spoke with us, wanting to learn about Mum as a person and explained how they would tailor the care to what Mum wanted and needed, how they would respect her dignity and work with us, keeping us informed all the way.
“We then started to get care from Rennie Grove Peace at home for Mum. We had carers for day-to-day personal care and the nursing team for medical needs. The support from the Rennie Grove Peace Hospice at Home team was amazing. Their record keeping and handover was impeccable, which meant that every time they came, they knew what Mum needed. It was a small team of carers and nurses who got to know Mum and they remembered things about her Malaysian culture and important things from Mum’s life and would ask with interest about when Mum used to be a nurse.
“The Rennie Grove Peace Hospice at Home team treated Mum as a woman, not a patient. Mum was worried about having personal care, but the carers made sure she always felt comfortable and retained her dignity. The team of carers was always gentle and kind, helping her get ready and feel fresh, dressing her in clothes that she chose, brushing her hair and making sure she had a spritz of her favourite perfume on – all things that were important to Mum to ensure she felt confident and good about herself. The Hospice at Home team always came with a reassuring smile, and it was clear Mum was pleased to see them and they made her feel valued and at ease.
“When Mum was no longer able to go up and down stairs, the Rennie Grove Peace nurses organised a hospital bed for her bedroom and the care team was increased to two staff, four times a day, as Mum became more dependent. As her condition progressed and she needed more pain relief, the nursing team attended regularly to assess the levels for Mum’s injection driver and was always on the end of the phone.
“If there was any change in Mum’s condition the carers would update the nurse immediately and they’d call to discuss. They were very proactive, ensuring Mum was always comfortable. Any time we needed them, they come to the house to either adjust Mums medication or discuss any concerns we had as Mum progressed.
“The nursing team was incredibly responsive. One night I called the overnight team about 2am concerned that Mum was uncomfortable – either needing some support or an increase in medication or both. The nursing team arrived promptly and administered some medication, but also went the extra mile and supported Mum to have an extra freshen up and feel comfortable and settled for the night.
It was really reassuring to know we could call the Rennie Grove Peace nurses – day or night – and help would come.
“When Mum died on 14th December 2023, we hadn’t managed to call the Rennie Grove Peace team to cancel her afternoon carers visit and they arrived as scheduled. We informed them that Mum had just passed, and they gave us a big hug and asked if they could come in and see Mum to say their goodbyes. It felt really lovely and personal, and I could see that they had really cared about Mum. Later, the Rennie Grove Peace team who had cared for Mum sent a handwritten card to say how sorry they were and what a lovely lady Mum was, sending support to us as her family as well.
“Mum was such a kind, giving, strong and selfless person. She wanted everyone safe, happy and well – that was all she wanted. Rennie Grove Peace was able to give her the dignity at the end of her life that every person deserves and ensured she was able to stay at home in familiar surroundings, surrounded by loved ones and feeling safe and cared for”