Brian’s Story

Brian’s Story

After witnessing firsthand the care that our nurses provided to his wife as she neared the end of her life, Brian wanted to give something back to Rennie Grove Peace. Although he was interested in volunteering, he was concerned that his own health condition might hold him back. He explains how he volunteers despite his condition, what he gets out of volunteering and why he would encourage other people to give it a go! 

Brian says:  

“My wife, Mags, was diagnosed with cancer in December 2020.  Her health rapidly declined and we were referred to Rennie Grove, as it was then.  When it became necessary, the Hospice at Home team cared for Mags. 

“The nurses started coming into our home and I immediately felt that it was more than ‘just a job’ to them.  They were all totally compassionate and caring, none of them were too brisk or business-like. The nurses all took the time they needed to do it right and never turned anything into a chore. Wonderful people!

“After Mags passed I set up a regular monthly donation to Rennie Grove and I also hosted a couple of small fundraising events in her memory. Because of this I was invited to a summer afternoon tea party at Grove House and that’s where I first met some of the volunteering team. We chatted about me getting involved in volunteering but, at that time, I thought it wouldn’t be the right thing for me to do because of my epilepsy.

“I’ve been living with epilepsy for almost a decade now – it just ‘came on’ and was officially diagnosed early in my retirement.  Over the years I have been prescribed various medications but none helped control it or stabilise me so I am currently unmedicated.   

“Although I’ve made changes in both my lifestyle and my diet to try and help, I do still have absence seizures.  In the past they have impacted my confidence especially when it came to going out: social events, shopping or even walking my dog.

“A few weeks after the tea party I was persuaded to go to a meeting at Grove House to discuss volunteering.  At that meeting I was very open and honest about my epilepsy and my concerns that it might negatively affect my volunteering. We discussed ways that I try to manage my epilepsy and some measures I take to help keep myself safe. We also talked about ways that the charity can support me – with flexibility in volunteering shifts around my health and any adaptations I might need in order to continue as a volunteer. 

“After this open and honest conversation with the volunteering team, I did feel confident enough to proceed and I successfully trained as a Compassionate Neighbour a week
or so later!    

Finding the right match

“The Compassionate Neighbours team works hard to match volunteers with Community Members.  Although I served in the Army for over seven years I’m really not a ‘bloke’s bloke’ these days! I’d not be the best person to support someone who likes sports and enjoys sport chat all the time!   

“I also can’t drive, due to my epilepsy, so the Compassionate Neighbours team proposed matching me with a community member who lives within comfortable walking distance of my home and who shares a few similar interests.   

“Being able to support my Community Member in a way that’s beneficial and safe for both of us is a primary concern of mine. This is something we were able to discuss at an initial meeting between the Compassionate Neighbours team, me and the community member that they were proposing matching me with, as well as his wife. After the meeting we all agreed to give the proposed matching a chance.   

“My community member, Mike, and I have totally different backgrounds and lives so we both have lots of very different things to bring to the relationship. We are also both enjoying discovering and exploring lots of common ground.   

“Mike is reasonably mobile so during the summer we often went out for a walk. The exercise did us both good and we could chat as we walked.  

“I enjoy watching and listening to live music. Mike is a talented musician although Dementia has sadly curtailed his musical activities. So we have both greatly enjoyed going to weekly lunchtime concerts in a nearby church – something I probably wouldn’t have done on my own.

“I enjoy volunteering as a Compassionate Neighbour and, several months later, it seems to be working well for all of us! I’m glad I took the plunge and decided to ‘give it a go’.  It’s helped my confidence and it’s got me out and about doing something useful. Without it I think I’d probably be spending more time at home, alone.

Taking on other volunteering duties

“Since I started volunteering it has opened the door to other opportunities, too. I now also volunteer as a shop caretaker, covering my two local Rennie Grove Peace charity shops. When the shop manager has some maintenance or DIY tasks that need doing, they can call on me to save the charity paying for costly repairs.  

“After the Army I had a career in the property refurbishment industry so I’ve got the skills and, now I’m ‘officially retired’, the time to do it.

“Both of my volunteering roles are very flexible which really works well for me. I’d encourage anyone who has a bit of spare time in their week to consider volunteering with Rennie Grove Peace.  There are many different opportunities and a variety of volunteer roles available.  I was concerned that my own health issues would rule me out but with total honesty, good communication and a willingness – on both sides – to adapt, it has proved to be really interesting and a rewarding way for me to spend some of my time in retirement.”