This time of year can be particularly stressful for those coping with loss. What’s meant to be the ‘most wonderful time of the year’ can be incredibly hard to navigate.
“Whether this is the first Christmas without a loved one, or a time when the loneliness and loss are overwhelming as we remember Christmases gone by, the festive period and beginning of a new year can be a daunting period for many people in our community,” said Alison May, Community Engagement Manager at Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care.
What can you do to support others or yourself if you are coping with grief? The team at Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care in Hertfordshire are on hand with some tips to offer support at this sensitive time of year.
- Focus on listening, and let them tell THEIR story
- Try to understand it from their point of view, seeing the world through their eyes and how it feels to them
- Communicate that understanding to the person, by affirmation, reflecting and summarising any conversations
- Use their language and do not be afraid to mention the name of the person who has died
- Don’t judge – there is no ‘right’ way to grieve, we each mourn in our own way and in our own time
- If someone wants to be silent and not talk, then respect this
- If they want to be alone or have space, even on Christmas day, acknowledge this is OK
- Encourage them to identify things that they enjoy and can immerse themselves in, either as an individual or in a group, such as a walk, listening to music, watching a film
- Encourage them to acknowledge, not to shut down their emotions so that they can process their feelings
- Grief can sometimes feel overwhelming but there is extra support out there, so do encourage or refer someone to specialists if they need additional help.
Rennie Grove Peace is running a series of Compassionate Cafés across St Albans to provide a welcoming space for local people to come together as they cope with loneliness and isolation following a bereavement or any kind of loss.
Compassionate Cafés are running in five locations across the city over 2024:
- Cottonmill Community & Cycling Centre, last Tuesday of the month, 12-1:30 pm. From January 2024. In partnership with Leeanna’s Wish.
- Cross Street Café, second Thursday of the month, 10-11:30 am. From December 2023. In partnership with Cross Street Centre.
- Jersey Farm Café, second Friday of the month, 2.30-4 pm. From January 2024. In partnership with Ridgeway Church.
- St Saviours Church Hall, second Tuesday of the month, 2-3.30 pm. From December 2023. In partnership with St Saviours Church.
- Café on the Corner, third Saturday of the month, 10.30-12pm. From January 2024. In partnership with Camphill Village Trust.
Alison May, Community Engagement Manager at Rennie Grove Peace said:
“The Cafés are a simple idea, but there is such a need for them. We understand how lonely and isolating grief can be and we hope our Compassionate Cafés offer a chance to share that loss with people who understand, to find new friends and to share positive moments together each week, over a cup of tea.”
Find dates and times of the individual cafés here, via email compassion@renniegrovepeace.org or by calling 01923 330 330.