Pauline’s Story

Pauline’s Story

“I initially heard about the Compassionate Neighbour programme when I saw a Facebook ad.  I am retired, but I sometimes look after my grandchildren in the holidays so I didn’t want to commit to a certain time and day.  Becoming a Compassionate Neighbour looked flexible and suitable so I replied to the ad. 

“Shortly after, I did the Compassionate Neighbour training.  It was good to meet the Rennie Grove Peace team and other volunteers. 

“At the time, I had just recovered from a long period of feeling unwell. For a long time I had felt very tired and didn’t have any energy at all.  My doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me so just prescribed me anti-depressants, which didn’t work.  Then they discovered that I had a growth on my parathyroid gland.  Once I had the growth removed I felt a completely different person. I then had the motivation and energy to take on new opportunities.  I also knew what it felt like to be unwell and wanted to give something back. 

“To start with I helped out at a couple of the Compassionate Cafes and it was there that I met Monica.  Monica’s husband died in March and her two daughters had brought her to the Cafe. We got chatting and a few weeks later a member of the Rennie Grove Peace team approached me to ask if I would like to become a Compassionate Neighbour for Monica.  I agreed and we arranged our first meeting.“

The impact of a Compassionate Neighbour

“I generally visit her once a week, we chat and I often drive us to the shops or a local café or garden centre where we have a coffee and snack. This presents an ideal opportunity for me to listen and for Monica to talk and reminisce about her late husband.  Monica doesn’t have any close local friends to support her so she often feels very lonely.  

“Monica is in her early 80’s and can do most things for herself.  She no longer drives but is very active for her age.  She misses her husband very much and sometimes feels overwhelmed by all of the household paperwork that she now needs to do as this is new to her. Her husband always took care of these things. Her daughters help with this but it is hard for them when they do not live close by.   

“I think it is nice for Monica to be able to talk to someone who isn’t part of her family as she tries to not burden them with her worries.  They do not live locally and can’t always be there, but they call her regularly. 

“The Rennie Grove Peace team also organised for Monica to have bereavement support in her own home for 14 weeks. She then went to the drop-in Bereavement Support Group for a few weeks after that where she met other similar people who had recently been bereaved. I take her to two local Compassionate Cafés every month which I volunteer at. This is another chance for her to socialise and talk to people who have also experienced loss.  I think this really helps her.   

“Monica and I have become friends and I enjoy her company.  It is rewarding to know that I am helping her and that she values our time together.  My volunteering work as a Compassionate Neighbour for Monica, and working at the Compassionate Cafes has been a really satisfying experience for me.  It gets me out of the house too, I get to make new friends and meet lots of interesting new people in the community.  I am so glad I replied to that ad!”