When she struggled with her grief following the death of her mother, Carla from St Albans turned to our bereavement counselling service for help. Here she tells us how invaluable the service has been in helping her process her loss. Carla says:
During my mum’s illness she was offered support by Rennie Grove. She was reluctant to accept help but I knew the nurses were there to answer my questions and support us both.
After Mum died last year I was struggling with my grief and referred myself to Rennie Grove for bereavement counselling at Grove House. In all honesty, counselling was not really ‘my thing’. I was very sceptical about whether it would make a difference but I reached a point where I was struggling so much that I knew I needed to try something.
I was matched with a counsellor and had sessions remotely, via video call. During my first session I have to say that I wasn’t as receptive as I might have been and I didn’t really engage with the process. But I soon realised that I needed to really lean into it if it was to make the difference I needed. I’m so glad I did, because I can honestly say that I don’t think I’d be here today if it wasn’t for the counselling I received.
"My counsellor just helped me to see things in a different light and gave me the time and space I needed to process everything."
One thing I was really struggling with was the fact that my mum wasn’t able to die at home as she wished to. She was in hospital at the end of her life and the whole experience was very traumatic for us both.
I carried a lot of guilt about this. I knew that her wish was to die at home and I felt like I had failed her because that’s not how things ended up. My counsellor helped me to look at this differently – to see that it hadn’t been entirely in my control and that we had done what was necessary given the circumstances at the time. It took me a while to stop kicking myself about that, but I now feel more settled with it.
Over the course of a few months I built a really strong rapport with the counsellor and did a complete U-turn on my views about counselling. At an incredibly difficult time in my life, the bereavement counselling service really was a lifesaver for me.